We are all complicit in violence, no matter how good our intents are….
I have experienced a lot of violence, but I have also perpetrated a lot of violence. My mere sitting here on unceded territory as a white settler continues this violent cycle. My intersections of privilege unwittingly enact violence- but it is violence all the same.
I am starting to learn what it means to do healing work within a community of people. How do we make changes to a community if those who have caused harm are excluded from the process….?
There are very few people who intentionally cause egregious harm to others…. This idea of “good” vs “bad” hides the fact that we are all complicit, which creates feelings of shame when we have done something wrong- because we don;t want to see ourselves as ‘bad.’ That shame makes us defensive about looking at the areas we have caused harm, rather than dealing with it…
It is a far greater process to acknowledge the harm we have caused and ask what we can do to change it in the future- rather than pretend it just doesn’t exist, or worse, minimizing/denying the experience of those who are on the receiving end of it.
“By dismissing perpetrators as monsters, it allows us not to analyze our own actions” -Jeremy Loveday